posted 27 Nov 2010, 07:14 by Sam Mbale
updated 27 Nov 2010, 07:15
Rape is NEVER okay and is NEVER the fault of the victim. Of
the many myths surrounding sexual assault, the one that puts
any blame at all on the victim is perhaps the worst.
Unfortunately, there are many other myths. Yet the truth of
the matter is that any sexual encounter that is not of
mutual consent is, in fact, rape.
Another myth of sexual assault is that it is about sex.
Rape is a violent act of power, anger, even hate acted out
through a sexual encounter chosen as a means of control by
the perpetrator. It really has nothing to do with "having
The myth that sexual assault is a crime of desire is
pathetic. Any form of assault is about power, hate, anger,
violence. These are not words that describe love or caring.
One of the definitions of passion is "violent anger" so
calling rape a crime of passion may have some truth to it.
We think of passion as a strong feeling of love or sexual
desire, but we don't usually equate violence with passion.
So in using the statement that rape is a crime of "passion",
the only true definition that fits that statement is the one
of passion being "violent anger".
There is also the myth that sexual predators attack and rape
because they never have sex with an intimate partner. This
is not true. Many a rapist will live a normal life in the
eyes of others, being married and having normal sexual
relations with his wife or partner. They seek out victims
to abuse to fulfill some sick gratification they attain from
intimidating and degrading another human being. They choose
to seek out victims to control, humiliate and hurt.
One myth that everyone wants to believe is that it is easy
to spot a rapist because they look creepy, have shifty eyes,
maybe are dirty or look angry. We would like to believe this
because it would be easy for us to avoid an assault if we
just had to stay away from men who looked suspicious.
Wrong. Many rapists are friendly in passing and could even
be your next door neighbor always willing to help out in
time of need.
A rapist can come from various backgrounds, races and ages.
He can be the handsome stranger asking for help because of a
"broken" arm or leg, the 19 yr old offering to help carry
your groceries in the house for you, the kindly man asking
to use your phone because his car broke down. Never let
your guard down around anyone who sends any kind of vibes
that makes your intuition stumble a little. Trust your gut
feelings. Don't try to ignore the apprehensive feeling that
suddenly overwhelms you.
Another myth that is not true is that women secretly want to
be raped. No one wants to be the victim of a violent
assault. If a woman doesn't fight back, it is either
because she is afraid that by fighting she will infuriate
the assailant even more or because she is frozen by her
fear. It is never because she has some secret desire to be
The crime of rape is life-changing and some will never
recover from it. Committing suicide is seen by some victims
as their only escape from the mental torment.
Of course the best scenario is to never become a victim of a
sexual assault. Always pay attention to your gut instinct
and be tuned in to all that is happening around you. Have a
plan. Carry a weapon such as pepper spray or a stun gun. A
personal alarm is another option for scaring off an
assailant and attracting attention to your situation with
its loud scream.
And always know that any forced sexual encounter is not all
right under any circumstance and that is NOT a myth.
About the Author:
Karleen Lindsey provides non-lethal products to protect you
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