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Shopaholic Queen, Meet Collector King

posted 15 Oct 2010, 07:39 by Sam Mbale   [ updated 15 Oct 2010, 07:40 ]

As you reach for that moment of purchase euphoria does your
credit card look up at you as if to say, "Seriously?"  Is
your closet jammed with never worn clothing, handbags,
jewelry, cosmetics and shoes?  Is your home, garage, attic
or office bursting with DVDs, electronics, tools,
memorabilia, art, or other collectibles?

If so, you may be a shopaholic queen or a collector king.

Women shop. Men collect.

According to Psychology Today, at least 18 million Americans
compulsively shop. It is the unhealthy addiction that very
few people talk about.  Shop 'til you drop is a favorite
female mantra.  Men generally want to die with the most
toys.  The more I have, the more I am.

Advertisers come get in front of us using the myriad of
media platforms available today with the unifying message

"You're not good enough unless you buy my product."

Or -

"You may die if you don't buy my product."

We are told - and what's worse, we believe - we are not good
or safe enough as we already are.


Yet, men and women risk their financial well-being, jobs and
relationships to get the pleasurable rush achieved through a
new acquisition can seemingly deliver.  Not being 'enough'
is a fate worse than death.  Those in the throws of the
impulse to buy Find Excuses And Reasons (the acronym for
FEAR) to justify their latest prize. Men and women alike
will hide some purchases or lie to themselves, friends and
loved ones about the small fortunes that went to 'had to
buy' deals.

I've written about the shopaholic before. That article
prompted several men to contact me because they recognized
their own 'collecting' patterns in my articles and blog
posts. I'm addressing the issue again because it is
important to look at it from the general male point of view.

Once reluctant to consider their pride and joy in their
collections as a mask for inner angst, men are now starting
to realize that these very same prized possessions
ultimately provided anything but a tired reflection of a
life unfulfilled. Men are just as influenced by the
zeitgeist of today's consumerism.

It is futile to think this addiction can be overcome by
going 'cold turkey'. Such buying behavior is a woefully
misguided attempt to fill a deep chasm of inner emptiness.
It is throwing blanket on top of blanket to quash a burning
aching emotional pain.  The feeling of "I'm not good,
sophisticated, successful, or whatever enough" is still
there. Without getting to and transforming the painful
triggers, it takes more and more blankets, more and more
things, women, electronics, cars, titles to numb the pain.

If you notice more than a few hang tags still clinging to
purchases made months ago - or if you no longer have room in
your garage for your car - its time for a new pain killer.
Buying clearly isn't working as a treatment of choice.

Wake up! Stop reacting to emotional triggers that cause you
to whip out your credit card faster than Doc Holiday on his
best gunslinging day.  Instead of a trip to Home Depot or
spending endless hours combing the Internet for your next
spending 'hit, get lasting fulfillment by feeding your soul
instead of your shelves.

The Moxie Prescription for the Shopaholic Queen and the
Collector King:

Start by improving your relationship with yourself. Owning
your pain is not a weakness. It is the strength of your true
essence crying out to you to wake up to your emotional needs.
 If you want to be loved, start by loving your self - all of

Claim Your Truth

Turn your inner compass in the direction of who your heart
is calling you to become instead of what you want to have.
Stuff does not define an individual. People are valued by
how they show up in life. What choices they make, what
contributions they offer and what gifts they share.

Own Your Power Align your thoughts, emotions, choices and
actions with what you value. Get to the truth of your
feelings and experience. This gifts does not come wrapped up
with a big bow.  It comes in the lessons learned and innate
wisdom passed on to others for the greater good of all.

Command Your Stage

Master your opportunities. People are remembered by their
impact, not their overstuffed vaults. How do you want to be
remembered? Think, speak and act in alignment with that

Its what you're here to do.

About the Author:

Valery is an Inner Wizard Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches
people how to be the hero of their opportunity instead of
the victim of circumstance so they can fully invest
themselves in their creative endeavors. Become the hero of
your opportunities instead of the victim of your
circumstance.  Empower the Wizard Within  Free tips!