posted 20 Dec 2010, 05:38 by Sam Mbale
updated 20 Dec 2010, 05:39
Many couples make the mistake of thinking that how to keep a
relationship alive is with grand gestures such as weekends
away, expensive dinners out, far flung holidays or lavish
gifts. All of these are short-term fixes and may not be
possible if you have children or can't afford to splash out
in this way. The best way to keep a relationship strong is
to get back to basics.
The "Big C".
Connection is the vital part of a relationship and attracts
us to someone in the first place, without connection, there
are no sparks. Many people confuse connection with sexual
attraction. Connection is what makes you feel close and
intimate with your partner. It is the oil that keeps a
relationship lubricated; it prevents relationships from
breaking because of petty arguments and helps couples to
accept each others' weaknesses.
What men need to feel connected.
Men need the two A's - Acknowledgement and Appreciation.
They don't necessarily ask for these but really do need
them. Men need to be acknowledged for their practical
accomplishments such as, fixing things and solving problems.
It is important to appreciate men for every day things such
as taking out the rubbish and for the manly things they do
rather than berate them for the feminine things they don't
do such as show their feelings or chat for hours.
What women need to feel connected.
Women need the two C's - to be Cherished and Complimented. A
way to a woman's heart is through her ears. It is vital that
a woman regularly hears how much she is loved, how great she
looks and what a wonderful mother and great lover she is. She
will feel more connected when she is regularly complimented,
and this in turn, will keep a relationship alive. Women also
need to feel cherished, this means feeling special and
adored. Men can do this with thoughtful texts and emails,
flowers or an act of service such as cooking her a special
Acknowledging and appreciating a man in a relationship and
cherishing and complimenting a woman in a relationship will
build fundamental connection and it will be much easier to
keep the relationship going and sparks flying.
Keeping sparks flying.
When I think of spark, I think of that chemistry and
electricity you feel at the beginning of a relationship that
sends shivers down your spine, which makes you pine for your
partner when you are away from them, that makes you want to
talk and think about them relentlessly and ravish them at
the slightest opportunity. Obviously, these behaviours are
not sustainable because we need time for other things in our
life like work, children, friends, family and other
interests, but rekindling some of that spark as our
relationship progresses makes us feel excited, loved, stops
us from getting complacent and being unfaithful. Once you've
built your foundation by acknowledging and appreciating and
cherishing and complementing, here are some more ways to
keep a relationship alive:
Indulge a woman in emotion.
The best way to get close to a woman is by showing her
emotion, this can be by expresing love to her through words
or gestures such as a foot massage.
Let a man be free.
Men love to do their own thing and have their own space and
if, as a woman, you give them their freedom, they will come
running back to you with increased passion and love.
Spend quality time together.
But, you can give each other too much freedom so make sure
that you spend quality time together without the distraction
of the TV, household chores or children.
Remember the good times.
Sharing memories of when you first met, when you got married
or any other significant moment in your relationship can
rekindle the happiness you experienced and help to build a
Spice up your sex life.
If your love-making becomes routine, try different places,
positions, times of the day, sharing fantasies and a bit of
About the Author:
Candy Jannetta is a UK based Relationship Coach and author
who has helped dozens of single men and women to find true
love. Want help in meeting your perfect match? Sign up for a
FREE 7-day e-course on how to meet that special someone at