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4 Signs of Emotional Abuse

posted 25 Sept 2010, 18:16 by Mpelembe   [ updated 25 Sept 2010, 18:17 ]
In general there are four indicators that someone is in an
emotionally abuse relationship. If you or someone you know
can identify with the following signs, it's a safe bet that
you are not in a healthy, loving relationship.

1. You often feel isolated from others and you are often
humiliated by your partner. Emotionally abusive people look
for ways that they can keep their partners down by making
them loathe themselves. In order to make them feel this way,
the abusers will cut off their victims from any means of
getting support, whether from family or friends.

2. You often are blamed for being the cause of the abuse.
Emotional abusers never accept or admit that are doing
something wrong, and nothing is ever their fault according
to them. Instead they blame the people they abuse for
"making them" be abusive. They are a fountain of excuses
when it comes to rationalizing their abusive behavior. The
often blame a bad childhood or stress for making them act
the way they do.

3. You abuser constantly looks for effective ways to
intimidate you. Emotionally abusive people routinely
threaten their partners in order to get their own way. They
probably won't resort to actual physical violence, but they
are not above making threats of physical violence to get
what they want. Their pattern is to use guilt, shame, and
fear to intimidate others and make them feel like there is
no way out of the bad relationship.

4. Your abuser strives dominate you. Abusers have an
insatiable desire to feel like they are the only ones in
control all of the time. In order to perpetuate this
delusion, they often treat their partners like mere
possessions. They convince themselves that outside of their
relationship, the victim has no intrinsic value other than
his or her ability to make the abuser happy.

Emotional abuse is not like physical abuse when it comes to
societal stigma, and this may be one of the reasons that it
is ignored so often. In most cases even the abuser's victim
doesn't feel like she has a legitimate complaint to make
against her partner and she will consequently spend months,
years, even decades in the bad relationship. The reality,
however, is that emotional abuse leaves different kinds of
scars that are not visible to the human but the wreak havoc
on families, children, and relationships. The emotional
trauma and suffering of this kind of abuse can take years to
recover from.

It doesn't have to be this way though. There are people out
there who want to help you move on and once again find your
self-confidence and self-worth. Moving toward a place of
empowerment is ideal and it can be achieved from something
as simple as learning a martial art with self defense videos
or a Self Defense DVD. Find a new joy and take time for it
whether it is joining a gym, a garden club, or a group
therapy session.

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